journal – Cactus and the Wave

you can do hard things. but you don’t have to.

May 17, 2022 No Comments

Yes, I’m talking about you.

You were born with a ferocious strength that you might’ve forgotten about along the way. Perhaps you spend your days trying to prove that to yourself. To find what you think you’ve lost. Or what maybe you think you never had. Well ladies, let me tell you, you have it. It’s inherent. You have the strength to do hard things, you do do hard things…but that doesn’t mean you have to.

Life has taught me that she can be tough. She throws enough curveballs, lemons and shade your way that you will surely get your fair share of opportunities to flex your strength. Don’t you worry about that. But there is a strength we often don’t acknowledge. The strength of shutting down, tuning out or, better yet, flat out deciding that you’re not going to deal with that today.

At the moment, this is the strength I’m leaning into. The ability to say to myself “that’s alright, your plate is full, you don’t need to touch that one right now.” If you’re reading this then you already know that I am a big fan of self-work, self-worth and personal growth. I have a built-in need to find the problem, address the problem and work on that shit until it’s gone (or evolves into the next phase of whatever it is meant to be). So the very idea of knowing that an issue exists and intentionally choosing to not address burns my soul to the most microscopic level. Eze will happily tell you about my need to “point and fix.” I will happily keep him away from this paragraph 😉 Call it a dedication to being “better” or a mark of perfectionism, I’m not sure, but doing the work is part of who I am…and it’s not always the right approach.

Sometimes the work needs to look a little different for it to have the biggest impact. The ability to identify what is taking up mental space and truthfully acknowledging how much you can actually work on (not handle) is a whole different strength. That is a hard thing. Understanding what you can actively engage with while making progress with…and being able to save the rest for another day (week, month, year) is big. It’s turning one thing down to give your full attention to another. It’s turning one thing down, temporarily, so that you can give it your all when you’re feeling more capable, determined and ready.

I’ve got some big stuff to process right now. Things that dictate how I want to be in this world, the way I want to raise my son and how I hope to create a space for him in this world that allows him to thrive. Big stuff, important stuff. But right now, my plate is full. I don’t have the time/space/energy to break that down…so I won’t. I’ll save it for next month when I know my plate will be a little lighter, days a little freer and my mind will have the space to do the work it needs to.

So if you’re looking for a little advice today, here is it: show yourself just how strong you are. Allow yourself to be surprised. Give yourself permission to say “no thanks, maybe later” and mean it. You don’t have to do it all…right now. If it’s important, you won’t forget about it. You just might need to wait until you’re ready to pile it on.

cultivate, journal

thirty four: balancing expectations + finding flexibility

January 9, 2021 No Comments

If you don’t bend, you break. These are the words I have been – and will continue – repeating to myself.

If you don’t bend, you break.

2020 was…well, it was. It sure was. It was all the things. It was awful, it was big, it was slow, it was sad, it was joyous, it was enlightening. It was a lot of the things and it was all the things. It took away and it gave back. For all of us, in varying doses. In other words, 2020 was really fucking hard.

For the past twelve months, I have felt like I have been pinned down by an unrideable wave. With my back pushed into the coral, eyes unsure whether to look around at the bright colors around me or upwards towards the surface I can’t seem to reach. For brief moments, I’ve caught my breathe, my lips barely touching the air before plummeting back under the pressure of the white water. Every second of those moments are filled with confusion and contemplation: there is profound beauty always mixed in with the darkness of the unknown.

Perhaps what I am describing sounds like depression, but it’s not that. It’s living a life without anchors. It’s wandering in a space that you weren’t sure ever existed. For the past year, I have often felt like I am not in my own life. Instead, someone else’s life. A life I didn’t sign up for, one that isn’t objectively all that bad. Just definitely not what I had expected for myself.

This year has given and it has taken away.

Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to give birth without my the support of my mother.
But I did.
Never had I imagined laboring in a language I could hardly understand.
But I did.
Never did I think I’d spend three months of my life locked in the confines of a small city apartment without the chance to leave for fresh air.
But I did.
Never would I have pour my life savings, heart and soul into building a business I love only to shut down months later amidst a global pandemic.
But I did.
Never, ever, ever could I have fathomed keeping my son away from the love of my family because it was dangerous.
But I did.

Why am I sharing this? Because this is real life. And real life happens. And it doesn’t always feel good. And sometimes, it feels really good and really bad…at the same time. 2020 robbed me in so many ways of the life I have worked hard to create for myself. I have the perspective to understand my own privilege, but this isn’t about that. This is about knowing what you want, working hard for what you want, setting goals and expectations…and nothing working out as planned…and what to do when that happens.

With the changing of the year, I also changed my own year and rang in the big ol’ 34. Thirty-four. Just reading the letters spelled out feels different. I am thirty-four. When did that happen? In the span of the past 365 days a lot has changed, every single thing feels different because every single thing is different. This is a fact. What else I know to be true is that 2021 holds no promise to be better, different, worse or otherwise. We are continuing our path into the unknown. So what are you supposed to do with that?!

The type-A in me has a new planner by November each year, with ambitions, goals, projects and plans already filled in for the year to come. I love building something to look forward to and I passionately work on the sharp corners of myself with yearly intentions. But this year I’m doing things a little differently. Thirty-four year old new mom slightly wiser Gina is going to do it differently. Why? Because if you don’t bend, you break. I’ll admit it: 2020 broke me. And from it, I intend to grow again.

2021, or 34, is the year I intend to practice increased flexibility in all aspects of my life. Learning how to create expectations without holding on to them (woof, my mother has been telling me to do this basically my entire life…#lifeswork) will be the grease between the joints. Expectations are the baseline we set for ourselves, and they’re a good thing, but they’re also a slippery slope. They help us to measure our own successes, our own values, but they’re also a source of great disappointment when they’re not exactly as we had in mind.

I have absolutely no clue what is in store for me this year and planning it out seems a little pointless. Waiting for that moment or that change of tides is equally pointless. I will live my life in shorter moments, stretching out the days, looking around at the beauty and the chaos with a healthier balance of curiosity and contentment. This year, I will (try, let’s be honest, I’ll try) commit to being more flexible with myself, my expectations, the outcomes of my efforts, the efforts I make and how I choose to allow them to define me.

Wish me luck. I know it won’t be easy.

To bending, breaking, growing and glowing,

Happy 2021! Or 34 😉

cultivate, journal

rethinking minimalism: how the pandemic has taught me to live with less

October 16, 2020 No Comments

I was completely unprepared for 2020. I packed way too light.

I’m sure my story falls in line with about a few million other peoples. We weren’t ready for this year and all the chaos that has come along with it, so I’m not going to play a sad song for my own. But I will say it’s left me naked. Quite literally.

At a whopping 7.5 months pregnant with absolutely nothing that fit me, I left the little island I call home with a wimpy suitcase mostly occupied by a camera, laptop, a few books, a sarong and two bikinis (the only things I’d need in Sri Lanka, where I was headed). After a quick adventurous babymoon to a sleepy Sri Lankan surf town (adventurous mostly because a volcano erupted in the Philippines, redirecting me halfway around the world on six flights with my giant belly and a spicy curry that nearly put me in labor!), we were headed to Spain to await the birth of our first baby. Spain would be in the middle of winter but as I didn’t fit in any of my winter clothes, I figured I’d just live in some old leggings and Eze’s sweatshirts until the baby came. It wasn’t like I’d be going out much anyways (hmmm, hindsight is always 20/20…). After the birth, we would head back to Siargao where my wardrobe would be waiting in my newly built closet. I’d be almost back to my pre-baby size, surfing summer waves and living the island life as three.

Well, well, well.

It’s October. I’m still in Spain. I’m still wearing my fiancé’s clothes.

Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls doesn’t it?

So at this point you might be asking yourself, “well, why didn’t she just buy new clothes?” The answer is simple: I am stubborn. Out of principal, I absolutely hate spending money on things I already have, don’t need, and don’t even want. I’d much rather use my money on doing fun things, making memories and experiencing something new. Even if it leaves me looking like a hot mess. Which I do. At this very moment. A hot, hot mess.

It’s 38 degrees outside and I’ve got the sleeves of Eze’s old football jersey rolled up. Pants, who’s got em? At least I shaved my legs.

I won’t lie and say I feel great about this or even remotely attractive. (Yeah yeah, I know beauty isn’t skin deep but I won’t disregard entirely the impact of a nice-fitting pair of jeans). But I will say that I do feel like I’ve learned a big lesson…brought to me by tough love.

Over these past few months, I have learned that I really don’t need all that much and that I can be pretty creative about how I reuse what I’ve already got. Now, this is a lesson that I have learned over and over again just through traveling – backpacking doesn’t allow for extra fluff – but there was always something in knowing that at home, I’d have choice. This pandemic has be a very clear reminder that our lives are filled with a lot of useless distraction and that these distractions take us away from the work that stands between us and our happier selves. I do love drinking my tea out of a beautiful ceramic mug, but using my old jam jar works just fine, too. I miss a crowded room, buzzing with energy, but the intentionality of a good chat 1:1 hits at something deep. And my bikinis? I miss them a lot. But with only one in the drawer, getting ready for the beach has never been easier.

As life moves towards a new normal, I hope that this will be a lesson I don’t need to be taught again. While I know that I am privileged to even complain, I also know that experience is relative and old habits die hard. So this is where the work lives: invest in a few good things that last, give time to the relationships that fuel you, and don’t share your precious energy with anything that takes away from what makes you feel really good.

cultivate, journal

when worry strikes…and what to do about it.

August 27, 2020 No Comments

This picture was taken when I was deep in the Sahara Desert, my car stuck in the sand as the sun was aching to set. The truth was, I didn’t really have any clue where I was. As one might imagine, amongst the mountains made of sand, the GPS was useless. A friend from the desert acting as my only guide instructed me to pluck as many plants as I could find and stuff them under the tires. As one might imagine, there aren’t many plants in the desert. Behind his turban, his sand-coated skin squinted. The worry was on his face and yet, he kept moving. Kept shoveling sand under the tires. Stayed calm. Told me what to do. He knew the desert like the back of his hand and he also knew how dangerous being lost in the desert could be.

This would’ve been the perfect time for me to panic. To get stressed out. To worry. Worry about what would happen. What could happen. But worry served no purpose in this moment. Worry didn’t have a place at the table. It couldn’t.

When faced with a dilemma, there is great value in reflection. In taking a moment (or several) to pause and consider all your possibilities. There is power in the pause. Unfortunately, what we often do instead is worry. Worry about the what if’s, the hypotheticals, the potential outcome. We give power to worry, we give worry a seat at the table where reflection should sit.

Worry is useless.

Instead, ask yourself this: what would happen if you stopped worrying about it?

If you’re not able to get a clear answer from your reflection, if the pause gives you anxiety and you’re not able to find a path through, change direction. Don’t look to the end, to the hypotheticals. Change your focus towards the details you can define. By focusing away from the worry, you take away it’s power and free yourself to reflect without distraction, without the emotional weight of the unknown.

In this moment, as the sunset over the Sahara, I didn’t worry. I couldn’t. So I worked. We focused on finding the way out even when the path wasn’t so clear.

Got a dilemma? Give it a try. And don’t worry. It will be just fine.

cultivate, inspiration, journal, nourish

Feel good now: three ingredients to a life worth living

June 3, 2018 No Comments

My mom always told me “you don’t actually know anything until you’re in your 40’s.” Then she turned 50 and has since said, “you don’t actually know anything until you’re in your 50’s.” Reading between the lines (and the Moscow Mule in her hand), I have come to understand that what she really means is that, for most of us, it takes a lifetime to develop a true understanding of the lessons we’re meant to learn…and then to actually put those lessons into practice. We spend so much of our lives filled with worry and doubt, chasing this and that, we don’t actually get to feeling good about the life we’re living until…well, apparently…our 50s?

Since I’ve got such a wise mother who has a head start on mastering life’s lessons, I have made the conscious decision to learn the lessons early. To open my eyes. To pay attention. To make intentional choices that will enable me to live a life that feels good…now. I mean, the sooner we get started in practicing habits that help us thrive, the longer we actually get to enjoy the fruits of our labor.

Through plenty of trial and error, I have boiled a feel good life down to three key elements. Three elements that when mixed with energy, awareness and a lot of water, put you straight on the path to a life you’re excited to live.

Three ingredients to a life that feels good:

1. Cultivate. Our lives are pretty much a set of lines that we get to mold into whatever shape we’d like. We get to draw the boundaries of our comfort zones…and then redraw them over and over again. Cultivating a feel good life is about creating new experiences, expanding our horizons and investing time and energy in the things that make us excited to get up in the morning. It might be practicing a new hobby, planning a weekend getaway or developing a morning routine that gets you pumped for the day. You are the architect of your life. Design the life you want to live…and get to living it.

2. Nourish. If you want to grow rice, you plant rice. If you want to grow apples, you plant apples. If you want to grow joy…guess what? You’ve got to plant it. In order to live a feel good life, we first have to start by nourishing the elements in our lives that fuel us to feel good. Simple as that. Nourish YOURSELF. Practice self-care. Eat clean foods that make you feel strong. Take the bubble bath. Read books that call to your curiosity. Give into compassion but also learn when to say enough is enough. The areas in your life you give the most attention to are the ones that will thrive. It’s up to you to decide if you’re growing flowers or weeds.

3. Move. To quote the prodigious Elle Woods: Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t kill their husbands. You just cant argue with that. Sweating it out for even 15 minutes a day has a long lasting feel good effect. It gives your body (and mind) the strength it needs to do all that you ask of it. Exercise is active meditation, a gesture of gratitude, self love and an act of power all at once. The more we move, the stronger we are to roll with life’s punches. The stronger we feel, the more capable we are to lift those around us. Take the walk, go to the dance class, sign up for the marathon. Make the time to move. You (and everyone around you) will thank you for it.

Living a feel good life doesn’t mean that you are bursting at the seams with joy from sunrise to sunset. It means that you are actively creating a life you love to live. It’s about building an environment that brings you joy and arming yourself with the tools you need for when things aren’t so sunny. By cultivating new experiences, developing positive habits and nourishing our own well-being, we put the power back in our own hands to decide what kind of life we want to live. I don’t know about you, but I want to live a life that feels damn good. Right now.

If you don’t know where to get started or what path to take, reach out. Let’s build your feel good life together.

cultivate, journal

Combating distraction: four tips for getting shit done.

May 3, 2018 No Comments

Okay, I must preface this with a confession: it has taken me two weeks to sit down and write this because…I suffer from selective attention syndrome*. I do not have ADD or anything clinical to blame for my procrastination. Nope. I just get very easily distracted when I’m not engaged in the work at hand. (Petting camels is sooo much more enjoyable than, well, anything else). If I enjoy what I’m doing, I can hustle away for 10 hours without looking up. If I don’t enjoy it….well…scroll scroll scroll, like like like…Google absolutely anything unrelated to the task at hand….five hours later I still haven’t done what should’ve taken me two.

This month, I’m aiming to make some changes that I know I’ll thank myself for later. I want to combat my distraction and practice being more efficient in how I get shit done. Now, here comes another confession: this is a work in progress. I have not successfully exorcised my distracted thoughts from my mind and quite frankly, I don’t intend to fight them. Instead, I’m choosing to better manage these tendencies using tools that have worked for me in the past.

Here are a few tricks that, when applied, help me accomplish more without changing my DNA. The plan is to put them ALL into practice this month. Yup. All at the same time. Multi-tasking, baby. Here we go…

How to actually get (boring) shit done:

1. Set yourself up for success. If I’m thirsty, hungry, have to pee or thinking about putting coconut oil on my skin, I can’t focus. Especially since I started working from home, sticking to a “getting ready” routine helps me feel more prepared and empowered to take on the day…it also gives me fewer opportunities to get distracted on my way to the kitchen.
2. Organize by time, not by task. Instead of attacking a task (ie: clean your room), set a timer and do as much as you can towards your task in the given time. I like to call these a “Power 10”. For ten minutes (or however long you decide), get your hustle on. **No distractions allowed**. When your timer goes off, pause and reassess. Can you keep going? Awesome, set another timer. Need a break? All good. Move on to number three.
3. Give into the distraction. Everyone says to save the best for last. Well, that might work for a tasty dinner but it’s never helped me combat distraction. Instead of motivating me to focus on the task at hand (with the knowledge that I get to do something fun later), I usually end up moving at a snails pace as I count down the hours. Instead, give yourself time to get distracted. As in a limited amount of time. Maybe it’s 10 minutes before you get going on your list or maybe it’s a break between your task timers. If you’re really itching to see what matcha latte your favorite Instagrammer made on stories this morning, go for it. But set (and honor) limits to avoid falling into the rabbit hole.
4. Practice saying no (even to the fun things). Okay so this one sucks. But it’s true and really is quite important. Saying no is hard. Period. Saying no to things you actually want to do is excruciating. WHO DOESN’T LOVE FUN?! The thing is, having the ability to say no takes strength…the same strength you need to get through a boring task or a giant to-do list. It’s also the kind of strength that has an immediate reward. You will feel better after getting shit done that you really needed to do. Immediate relief. That means that the next time the fun comes along, you’ll get to really enjoy it. Distraction free.

Do you have any tips on avoiding (or managing) distraction? Getting through to-do lists? I am seriously very interested. Reading your advice would be a great distraction!

*a Gina-invented illness. If there’s actually a word for this, I’m all ears.

journal, nourish

How to bounce back without losing your mind.

April 15, 2018 No Comments

Bouncing back. Two little words that have the power to make me feel queasy when life is operating “normally.” They imply that something has gone wrong. That there is work to be done. That time…and patience…are required to get back to level ground. I don’t really like having to bounce back from anything because I don’t really like things going off in the first place. Duh. And I know I’m not alone in this sentiment. But unfortunately for all of us who prefer things to go smoothly, we’re SOL because life has this funny way of throwing us curve balls.

My 2018 started off strong. I adventured like a mad woman, checked items off my bucket list, found joy in every single day and, well, was loving life. But for the past month and a half, I’ve been wading through quick sand and have struggled to maintain the positivity I normally use to guide my life. If I am to speak objectively, nothing has actually been that bad. I got pneumonia. Got mystery bacterial infections. Took medication that wore down my body (and my mind). Visited wonky doctors in sketchy hospitals in far away places. Gained weight. Lost motivation. Faced the disappointment of unmet expectations and generally just started embodying Eyore.

It might seem dramatic but we don’t always live in a state of objectivity and I’m a firm believer that everything is relative. We all have our setbacks and they are valid in the way they compare to our ordinary state of existence. So if you don’t feel comforted when someone says “it could be worse” or “when I was your age I used to walk 10 miles in the snow to get to school, uphill in both directions!”, it’s okay. Your frustration is real if you feel it. Yes, shit happens. But it still sucks.

I’ve spent a lot of time in the past month and a half negotiating how I wanted to approach my setbacks and some days it comes easier than others. After much experimentation, these are my takeaways on how to bounce back without totally losing your mind:

Allow yourself proper time to flip out. When I feel like “everything is going wrong” or that Mercury really has it out for me during retrograde, the last thing I want is someone telling me to chill. So you feel like crying? Yelling? Hitting a pillow? Go for it. Close the door and spazz out. It’s okay to wallow a little in your own frustrations, but give yourself a time limit.

Address the stress. Identify the actual setback (ie: pneumonia, a shitty boss) vs. your reaction to it. I will admit that sometimes I let myself wallow a little too long in my funk and the funk itself becomes a barrier to moving forward. Be honest with yourself about what is truly getting you down and what you might’ve manifested in your frustration.

It might look a little something like this:
Pneumonia. True.
Not exercising because I’m sick. True.
Gaining weight because I’m not exercising but still eating ice cream sundaes. Halfway true.
Feeling insecure because I’ve gained weight and wondering if I’m still loveable. Manifested.
Freaking out at my credit card bill because I indulged in retail therapy while imaging being old and lonely with nothing but cats and wrinkles. Super manifested.

Surrender to your limitations. This is clearly easier said than done but the simple fact is this: there is a process to things and you can’t cut the queue. The second my fever was gone (the first time), I was back in the gym with a full body workout. Two days later, I developed pneumonia. I ignored the process and was sent straight to the back of the line. Whether it’s a broken arm or a break up, you need time to heal. Accept it and embrace it. You will bounce back.

Don’t stop doing you. Just do you differently. For me, the hardest part of getting sick is the inactivity. I am not good at living a stationary life and I use physical activity to clear my mind, relieve stress and fuel up on endorphins. So when the doctor advises nothing more than a light walk for the next few WEEKS, I spazz. But the truth is, there is beauty in this challenge. The inability to stick to our routine forces us to think creatively about how we can get the same pleasure or relief in different ways.

Make a plan. Unless you total cave in to your funk and continue your (read: mine) ice cream binge, you will return to “normal”. Make a plan. Think about where you’re currently where you’re at, where you’d like to be and how to get there. Doing Crossfit after some kick ass flu might not be the best thing, so be smart about your approach. Map out a realistic bounce back path and then get excited. The you you know is just around the corner.

inspiration, journal

Are you participating in your life?

March 6, 2018 No Comments

I am finally in the drivers seat…and it is terrifying.

I spent several years of my adult life feeling as though I was not in control. Either for lack of insistence or for fear of making the wrong choice, I enabled sources outside of myself to make decisions on my behalf. In doing so, I forgot to measure the weight of my own wishes and wants. I forgot to check in with myself and ask if I was happy. If I was okay with where I was at and if I was headed in the direction I wanted to be. If you’ve ever operated from a fearful or insecure state of mind, you know how quickly this putting-yourself-on-the-back-burner business can get out of hand.

And then I found my voice…and I switched seats. Not by magic but rather by courage and hard work, I found that I did indeed still have a voice and that voice was capable of speaking up. That voice was connected to my brain and that brain had a lot of thoughts swirling around. When I gave myself the space to make small decisions on my own (ie: what do I want to do today – traveling alone is great for this sort of micro-empowerment, by the way!), I also made room for the bigger things. I practiced saying no. I became less apologetic about pursuing goals that meant something to me. I discovered what I truly wanted by eliminating what I didn’t want.

The point I’m trying to make is this: we are all in control of our path. In fact, we control how in or out of control we will be in pursuing our path. We decide if we want to be active participants in our own lives. Because the simple truth is that we can only control ourselves, our thoughts, our actions. And the sooner we learn that, the better. As for the rest of it, all the details, the “fate”, someone else’s bad day, that’s not yours to control. So you might as well consider that the great adventure. Have fun with it because they’re there whether you like it or not, those things you can’t control.

So now, I am in the drivers seat….and it’s exciting. I can decide where to go and how to get there…and when I hit a speed bump or come across vegan donuts along the way, I’m going to embrace it. I’m going to enjoy the ride. Because it’s mine. And yours is just yours.

inspiration, journal

When being wrong is so right.

January 27, 2018 2 Comments

When is the last time you were totally, completely wrong?

It’s okay. You can admit it.

I am not a betting woman. Why? Because I don’t like to be wrong. But yesterday I took a gamble on something I was sure I was 150% right about. A Justin Bieber song. Yup. Haters, don’t judge. When it comes to awful guilty pleasure pop music, I’m well-versed. Well, after wagering a hefty bet, I stumbled onto the world wide web to prove my prowess, only to learn that I was indeed…wrong. Not only mortified that Despacito wasn’t a JBeebz song, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was 150% wrong. That, my friends, was worse than any version of Despacito.

As much as we don’t like to admit it, sometimes we are simply flat out not right. We move through our day often assuming we’ve got a grip on things. We know how to handle the flow of what is happening, we’re organized, methodical. We’ve thought things out. But then it happens, usually in a most unexpected way, that what we thought we knew wasn’t right at all. This is the part where shit gets real. This is the moment we get to make some big decisions. It’s also where some of the fun begins.

I’m convinced that (sometimes) being wrong can be a good thing…and here’s why:

Perspective. Okay, I was wrong. So what? Being wrong about something doesn’t mean you are wrong as a person. Personally, this is a tough lesson to accept, but I know it’s true. Our mistakes do not define us. How we learn from them does. Will we be too stubborn to make room for change? Will we use compassion to understand? Will we use humility to learn?
Creativity. The liberty to make mistakes creates a safe space to express creativity, try out new ideas and find new solutions to nagging problems. I had a boss that gave me the freedom to fail and encouraged me to push my own limits without fear of failure. Through that freedom, I built a confidence in strengths I didn’t know I had.
Growth. Acknowledging our blind spots provides an opportunity to expand our peripheral vision. What I don’t know, you might. Our mistakes, misunderstandings or flat out errors, are a chance for us to learn more about ourselves and how we interact with the world. Sometimes it’s not even about being wrong, but it’s accepting that there might be more than one right.
Freedom. When we stop chasing perfection, there is a lot, I mean a lot, more room for fun. Let it go, lighten up and laugh it off.

inspiration, journal

Being present: put tomorrow on the back burner.

November 30, 2017 2 Comments

I am 30, going on 31, unmarried, without kids, traveling around the world with my entire life stuffed in a backpack that’s half my size. I don’t have a permanent address and my passport is my most valuable possession.

What the f*** am I doing with my life?

This is the broken record that likes to play sometimes in my head. Sometimes…frequently. It’s the voice of generations before me, the people that care about me. It’s the foot-stomping temper tantrum between what is expected and what I feel called to do. It’s the battle between my head and my heart.

Simple questions like “where do you live?” or “what’s next?” can send me straight to the turntable. The record is ready and waiting to play.

So how do I turn it off? How do I block out the noise? And should I?

While it’s easier said than done, the answer to that last question is yes. What is the point of worrying about a future that won’t exist without today? Why should we allow ourselves to get anxious over a life we haven’t lived yet when we could live the life we have right now?

The first two questions are a little harder to answer. But I’m working on it. I have added a few habits into the fold to make the present a more attractive place to be. So far, I think they’re working…

Smile. When shit starts getting tough or you start feeling frustration swell up, try to touch your left cheek to your left ear. Then the right cheek to the right ear. You’ll find that your forced smiles quickly becomes genuine. My grandmother always smiled. No matter what. She said that it takes 26 muscles to frown and only 8 to smile. “Smilin’ is easier, darlin’, so take it easy.”
Find gratitude. Before going to bed, write down three things you’re grateful for. Don’t just think them. Write them down. Take the time to reflect on it and make them meaningful. You can spare five extra minutes. Honestly, some days this might feel harder than others, but getting in the practice of articulating what we appreciate does wonders on how we approach what life puts in our path.
Sweat. Exercising requires your full and immediate attention. You can’t have your head somewhere else when you’re trying not to fall off a steep running trail or lifting weights over your head. Give yourself this break from not thinking so you can focus on what you’re doing. Plus, no one ever regrets a workout.
Put your phone down. This is probably the hardest one (and the most shameful to admit). The other night I went to dinner and I looked around to find that nearly everyone was either playing on their phone or had their eyes glued to the TV screen behind the bar. It made me sad. What was the point of even being there when we could all ignore each other from the comforts of our own home? Limit the distraction, put the screens away and engage with the people around you. Give them attention. Get their attention. Everyone wins when we connect #IRL.
Find the magic. Something good happens every single day. Beauty manifests in some way every single day. You just might miss if it you’re not paying attention. Open up to it. Change the perspective. Find some magic in the mundane. In doing so, you’ll be practicing a few of these habits…multi-tasking for the win!

What is life for if not to enjoy it? There is no tomorrow without today. Focus on today. Give today everything you’ve got.

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