I [don’t] have my shit together.

I’ve waited a very long time to turn 30.

30 years to be exact.

Turning 30 for me always signified a momentous life shift. One in which I would either a) have my shit together or b) not have my shit together and not give a shit.

Well, as the page on 29 has turned and 30 is a blank slate (can I write out t h i r t y instead? Seems classier), I can now say with confidence that an answer was missing from the multiple choice list.

I am option c: that little in-between of not entirely having my shit together and not entirely not caring about it. Guess what? It feels damn good.

30 has certainly brought about a life shift and it’s one I’m reveling in. I can see a little more clearly now what I want in life, though the exact parameters are still a little blurry. I understand a little more clearly now what I value and what I don’t. I can map out a little more clearly now how to achieve my goals even if the route isn’t entirely evident.

As I look around at my friends, some are younger, some are older, I could easily say they have their shit together. They have strong careers, they’re building families…I respect and adore these women so sometimes it’s hard not to compare myself in the face of their successes.

It’s important to remember that we all have our own path to get to our dreams, some might off-road a little more than others. I’m enjoying every moment of this ambiguity and trusting in myself that, shit together or not, I’m doing my best to create the life I want…and that feels damn good.