journal, nourish

How to bounce back without losing your mind.

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Bouncing back. Two little words that have the power to make me feel queasy when life is operating “normally.” They imply that something has gone wrong. That there is work to be done. That time…and patience…are required to get back to level ground. I don’t really like having to bounce back from anything because I don’t really like things going off in the first place. Duh. And I know I’m not alone in this sentiment. But unfortunately for all of us who prefer things to go smoothly, we’re SOL because life has this funny way of throwing us curve balls.

My 2018 started off strong. I adventured like a mad woman, checked items off my bucket list, found joy in every single day and, well, was loving life. But for the past month and a half, I’ve been wading through quick sand and have struggled to maintain the positivity I normally use to guide my life. If I am to speak objectively, nothing has actually been that bad. I got pneumonia. Got mystery bacterial infections. Took medication that wore down my body (and my mind). Visited wonky doctors in sketchy hospitals in far away places. Gained weight. Lost motivation. Faced the disappointment of unmet expectations and generally just started embodying Eyore.

It might seem dramatic but we don’t always live in a state of objectivity and I’m a firm believer that everything is relative. We all have our setbacks and they are valid in the way they compare to our ordinary state of existence. So if you don’t feel comforted when someone says “it could be worse” or “when I was your age I used to walk 10 miles in the snow to get to school, uphill in both directions!”, it’s okay. Your frustration is real if you feel it. Yes, shit happens. But it still sucks.

I’ve spent a lot of time in the past month and a half negotiating how I wanted to approach my setbacks and some days it comes easier than others. After much experimentation, these are my takeaways on how to bounce back without totally losing your mind:

Allow yourself proper time to flip out. When I feel like “everything is going wrong” or that Mercury really has it out for me during retrograde, the last thing I want is someone telling me to chill. So you feel like crying? Yelling? Hitting a pillow? Go for it. Close the door and spazz out. It’s okay to wallow a little in your own frustrations, but give yourself a time limit.

Address the stress. Identify the actual setback (ie: pneumonia, a shitty boss) vs. your reaction to it. I will admit that sometimes I let myself wallow a little too long in my funk and the funk itself becomes a barrier to moving forward. Be honest with yourself about what is truly getting you down and what you might’ve manifested in your frustration.

It might look a little something like this:
Pneumonia. True.
Not exercising because I’m sick. True.
Gaining weight because I’m not exercising but still eating ice cream sundaes. Halfway true.
Feeling insecure because I’ve gained weight and wondering if I’m still loveable. Manifested.
Freaking out at my credit card bill because I indulged in retail therapy while imaging being old and lonely with nothing but cats and wrinkles. Super manifested.

Surrender to your limitations. This is clearly easier said than done but the simple fact is this: there is a process to things and you can’t cut the queue. The second my fever was gone (the first time), I was back in the gym with a full body workout. Two days later, I developed pneumonia. I ignored the process and was sent straight to the back of the line. Whether it’s a broken arm or a break up, you need time to heal. Accept it and embrace it. You will bounce back.

Don’t stop doing you. Just do you differently. For me, the hardest part of getting sick is the inactivity. I am not good at living a stationary life and I use physical activity to clear my mind, relieve stress and fuel up on endorphins. So when the doctor advises nothing more than a light walk for the next few WEEKS, I spazz. But the truth is, there is beauty in this challenge. The inability to stick to our routine forces us to think creatively about how we can get the same pleasure or relief in different ways.

Make a plan. Unless you total cave in to your funk and continue your (read: mine) ice cream binge, you will return to “normal”. Make a plan. Think about where you’re currently where you’re at, where you’d like to be and how to get there. Doing Crossfit after some kick ass flu might not be the best thing, so be smart about your approach. Map out a realistic bounce back path and then get excited. The you you know is just around the corner.

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inspiration, journal

Are you participating in your life?

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I am finally in the drivers seat…and it is terrifying.

I spent several years of my adult life feeling as though I was not in control. Either for lack of insistence or for fear of making the wrong choice, I enabled sources outside of myself to make decisions on my behalf. In doing so, I forgot to measure the weight of my own wishes and wants. I forgot to check in with myself and ask if I was happy. If I was okay with where I was at and if I was headed in the direction I wanted to be. If you’ve ever operated from a fearful or insecure state of mind, you know how quickly this putting-yourself-on-the-back-burner business can get out of hand.

And then I found my voice…and I switched seats. Not by magic but rather by courage and hard work, I found that I did indeed still have a voice and that voice was capable of speaking up. That voice was connected to my brain and that brain had a lot of thoughts swirling around. When I gave myself the space to make small decisions on my own (ie: what do I want to do today – traveling alone is great for this sort of micro-empowerment, by the way!), I also made room for the bigger things. I practiced saying no. I became less apologetic about pursuing goals that meant something to me. I discovered what I truly wanted by eliminating what I didn’t want.

The point I’m trying to make is this: we are all in control of our path. In fact, we control how in or out of control we will be in pursuing our path. We decide if we want to be active participants in our own lives. Because the simple truth is that we can only control ourselves, our thoughts, our actions. And the sooner we learn that, the better. As for the rest of it, all the details, the “fate”, someone else’s bad day, that’s not yours to control. So you might as well consider that the great adventure. Have fun with it because they’re there whether you like it or not, those things you can’t control.

So now, I am in the drivers seat….and it’s exciting. I can decide where to go and how to get there…and when I hit a speed bump or come across vegan donuts along the way, I’m going to embrace it. I’m going to enjoy the ride. Because it’s mine. And yours is just yours.

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inspiration, journal

Being present: put tomorrow on the back burner.

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I am 30, going on 31, unmarried, without kids, traveling around the world with my entire life stuffed in a backpack that’s half my size. I don’t have a permanent address and my passport is my most valuable possession.

What the f*** am I doing with my life?

This is the broken record that likes to play sometimes in my head. Sometimes…frequently. It’s the voice of generations before me, the people that care about me.  It’s the foot-stomping temper tantrum between what is expected and what I feel called to do. It’s the battle between my head and my heart.

Simple questions like “where do you live?” or “what’s next?” can send me straight to the turntable. The record is ready and waiting to play.

So how do I turn it off? How do I block out the noise? And should I?

While it’s easier said than done, the answer to that last question is yes. What is the point of worrying about a future that won’t exist without today? Why should we allow ourselves to get anxious over a life we haven’t lived yet when we could live the life we have right now?

The first two questions are a little harder to answer. But I’m working on it. I have added a few habits into the fold to make the present a more attractive place to be. So far, I think they’re working…

  1. Smile. When shit starts getting tough or you start feeling frustration swell up, try to touch your left cheek to your left ear. Then the right cheek to the right ear. You’ll find that your forced smiles quickly becomes genuine. My grandmother always smiled. No matter what. She said that it takes 26 muscles to frown and only 8 to smile. “Smilin’ is easier, darlin’, so take it easy.”
  2. Find gratitude. Before going to bed, write down three things you’re grateful for. Don’t just think them. Write them down. Take the time to reflect on it and make them meaningful. You can spare five extra minutes. Honestly, some days this might feel harder than others, but getting in the practice of articulating what we appreciate does wonders on how we approach what life puts in our path.
  3. Sweat. Exercising requires your full and immediate attention. You can’t have your head somewhere else when you’re trying not to fall off a steep running trail or lifting weights over your head. Give yourself this break from not thinking so you can focus on what you’re doing. Plus, no one ever regrets a workout.
  4. Put your phone down. This is probably the hardest one (and the most shameful to admit). The other night I went to dinner and I looked around to find that nearly everyone was either playing on their phone or had their eyes glued to the TV screen behind the bar. It made me sad. What was the point of even being there when we could all ignore each other from the comforts of our own home? Limit the distraction, put the screens away and engage with the people around you. Give them attention. Get their attention. Everyone wins when we connect #IRL.
  5. Find the magic. Something good happens every single day. Beauty manifests in some way every single day. You just might miss if it you’re not paying attention. Open up to it. Change the perspective. Find some magic in the mundane. In doing so, you’ll be practicing a few of these habits…multi-tasking for the win!

What is life for if not to enjoy it? There is no tomorrow without today. Focus on today. Give today everything you’ve got.

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inspiration

Do the crazy thing.

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If I there is a sentence I’ve heard more than any other in my life it would be: “You are totally crazy.” I used to think crazy was a bad thing. As it turns out, crazy is a courage thing.

After leaving university, and still sometimes now, I found myself battling against the stress of the unknown. School provided a safe and reliable way of measuring success, of measuring progress. Success had a formula to follow. In many ways, this programmed me to build a life that followed suit. If you stay on this track, you’ll get this job, make this money, get this car…you get the gist. It’s not really so abnormal, “everyone” is doing it. It’s not so crazy. What does seem to be crazy, to most people at least, is to stray off that track. To define success in a different way and to measure it according to new standards. To me, this doesn’t sound crazy at all. It sounds like courage.

We have countless opportunities to define the rules of the game. The game, after all, is yours and yours alone. It’s yours to play and it’s yours to live. Whether big steps off the track or small, these steps are your own and little by little, they will create a clear path to your success. Maybe this means getting the haircut you’ve been thinking of but were to scared to try. Perhaps it’s applying for that job you feel unqualified for. It could be buying that promo plane ticket, or even falling in love when you least expect it.

Take the step. Do the crazy thing. Have the courage to define your own success….and then look back to see how far you’ve come. 

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inspiration, journal

Knowing when to quit.

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I am my biggest enemy. I’m guessing you might be yours, too? Since I can remember, I’ve always been competitive. I have always pushed myself to be the best I can be at whatever I’m doing. Dancer, student, ice cream sandwich maker…you name it. Some people miiiight call it perfectionism. I just always assumed perfect was the only right way.

I’m happy to announce I was wrong.

I’ve got a lot to say about giving your all, but that will come later. This post is about knowing when it’s okay to quit.

The ugly truth is, lots of things we do are hard. Lots of things we do are things we don’t actually want to be doing but we have to. But then, there are those things we do simply for pleasure…and those things don’t have to be so hard.

I have always wanted to surf. Watching surfers play in the waves, I always likened surfing to dancing on water. Last year, I took a hiatus from the boat to finally take the plunge and dive into surfing. I spent two months in Indonesia learning how to navigate my way around a wave in a completely different way. Along the way, a dear friend, knowing my perfectionist nature, gave me advice that has actually changed my life. “Gina, the second you start getting frustrated, get out of the water. Your only goal in surfing is to have fun. When you’re not, get out. Stop before you stop loving it.”

Simple, but true. It’s against my nature. All my life, I’ve followed the same pattern. Go hard or go home, sort of thing. If I failed, I got up again and again and again, pushing myself to my limits until I “got it.” I used to practically live in the library in college. Pillow and all. I just wanted to be the best, I just wanted to “get it.” Well, the end result was a beat-up, exhausted, ironically less confident and less happy version of myself. Yeah, I finally got it. But it didn’t FEEL GOOD getting there.

Have you been in my shoes? Aching for perfection until it actually kind of hurts? Do yourself a favor and take this advice: stop before you stop having fun. In whatever your thing is. Just enjoy the ride!

I’m far from being the surfer I dream of being. I get my ass handed to me regularly. But I love it. I smile until my face hurts. Sometimes I stay in the water for hours, sometimes I bail after 10 minutes. If I’m frustrated, I get out. I stop before it stops feeling good, because, after all, the only reason I’m doing it is to have fun. If it’s not fun, what’s the point?

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inspiration

Positive reinforcement: why you need a dream team

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We have all heard it before, the sacred vow of self-acceptance: to find true love you must first learn to love yourself.

But what happens when you’re struggling to find that self-love? When you’ve had a no good, very bad day…or week…or month? When you’re feeling down on yourself and your self-esteem is low? The moment when you just don’t feel like you’re good enough or good at anything. I mean, we have all been there. I know I have. I am a professional beat-myself-upper, remember?

We’re told that our strength comes from within, that our value is something that only we can define. I believe wholeheartedly in both of these statements. But sometimes you need a quick shot of self-esteem and you can’t be your own cheerleader when you’re also being your own enemy. That’s where the dream team comes in.

As much as we work to accept and love ourselves, sometimes a little positive reinforcement from an external source goes a long way. Sometimes, that’s all we really need…and that’s okay. You’re no less of a person because you need to hear a little something encouraging. You’re human.

Be it your sister, your best friend, the girl from your yoga class, your dream team is a valuable asset on your path to self-love. They are the people that possess the power to remind you how awesome you are…and they do it. Your dream team, whoever they are, recognizes good in you when you can’t see it and they help you fill your self-love shot glass. Surround yourself with these people. Accept the shots they pour and pour them right back. I mean, who doesn’t want to get drunk in love?!

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journal, travel

The most beautiful day I have ever seen.

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Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. Then again, I’m not sure when nature has stumped me the way it did today….and I see a lot of nature.

So the superlative stays.

For now.

One of the perks, and points, of traveling by sailboat is that I get to find hidden gems…and try to keep them hidden. For that reason alone, I will not tell you where I am witnessing this magic, but I will tell you all about it and why it matters.

Somewhere on the eastern side of Fiji lies a little island, speckled with a few houses tucked deep into the hillside. A steep, blindingly white beach separates a dense palm tree forest from a turtle-packed colorful coral reef. There are gentle waves breaking off the reef, sharks chasing prey below the surface and tropical fish strolling around in a sort of blissful oblivion.

The silence is loud. Other than the occasional giggle slipping out of my snorkel – seeing fish poop never stops being funny – everything is silent. In and out of the water. I spend what felt like hours just floating along, watching the waves crash from below the surface, spying on turtles relaxing on the reef as sucker fish gave their shells a scrub down.

At sunset, I rest against a fallen palm tree and see the sun transform the water and sky into colors I’ve never seen before. Crabs poke their heads out of the sand to see if the coast is clear – nope, I’m still here – and mosquitos start singing warning songs. From my kayak, I’m not quite sure where to focus my attention. Do I look at the crystal clear water below me that is now reflecting an orange sunset? Do I look at the bright pink clouds overhead against a royal blue sky? Or at the palm trees that are now glowing the brightest green? I am 100%, absolutely, completely overwhelmed by how awesomely beautiful this day is.

Now, before I get carried away and risk sounding too “out there”, let me stop myself and share the first thought that crosses my mind: how on earth am I going to keep this moment with me when it’s over?

On this blog, I aim to share my adventures in pursuing a life that FEELS GOOD. For me, a large part of a feel good life is creating new experiences and reliving old ones that…well, felt good. I’ve talked about the sensation of travel happy before and in this moment, experiencing the most beautiful day of my life, I stop to reflect. How can I bring this travel happy home? How can I relive this?

This is the answer I came up with: allow yourself to be amazed by what you usually skip over. Take a moment in your day to sit back and just soak in what’s around you. Yeah, you’ve seen sunsets before. Yeah, you’ve seen baristas making your latte before. Yeah, you’ve taken the bus before. But in each of those moments, there is something you haven’t seen. Something you haven’t paid attention to. Something you didn’t notice.

Notice it. Pay attention to it. Be aware. If you’re saying to yourself, “Gina, watching passengers on the bus is so not the same as watching a Fijian turtle…” I say to you: you’re right. And you’re wrong. The experience isn’t in the thing you’re actually seeing, it’s in seeing what you didn’t see before. Does that make sense?

I want to relive this moment because this moment feels good. To date, it has been the most beautiful day I have ever seen because I allowed myself to be amazed my it. Holding on to this lesson, I can say with certainty that the best is yet to come.

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inspiration, journal

Funkbusters: 5 ways to get out of a bad mood

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This morning I woke up with a huge cloud over my head. One of those bright-white, reflective, migraine-inducing clouds. I was in a funk. A real funky funk. The kind that like to stick around as if they have no one else to go and bother. You know the kind of mood I’m talking about?

I took to Instagram to get some new ideas on how to break free from this prison of blah and these are a few takeaways.

5 funkbusters to get you out of a bad mood:

1. Dig in. I do not mean dig into a bag of TJs sweet potato chips. Food hangovers suck. I mean dig into what you’re feeling. Grab a pen and paper and write down all the thoughts that come to mind. Don’t think before you write. Just write. Let the word vomit flow. When you’re all out of thoughts, read what you’ve jotted down and connect the dots. Get to the bottom of what is actually bothering you.

2. Sweat it out. On the other hand, give yourself the gift of not thinking. That’s what happens when I exercise. There simply isn’t time to think about anything else other than what I’m doing…or I’ll get hurt. Seriously. I mean, have you ever tried reformer pilates and dared thinking about anything else? Hell no. You’ll fly right off that carriage. Besides avoiding injury, having some time to not think gives your big bad brain a moment to chill out and take in the endorphins that are pumping through your system. In the wise words of Elle Woods, “Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t just shoot their husbands.”

3. Give a hug, get a hug. In a time where we spend more time in front of screens than real people, we lose out on the big wins of physical touch. Physical touch (and that doesn’t mean getting frisky) reduces cortisol (stress hormones) levels in the body. Real talk. Fight the funk with a hug. Don’t be afraid to ask for one if you need it. Everyone likes a good hug 🙂

4. Clean up. A cluttered life is a cluttered mind. I find serious stress relief in organizing, decluttering and a good old fashion clean up. In my house, I call them Power 20’s. Pick a spot in your room or home that you’re going to dedicate 20 minutes to and get after it. Pull out a few things you don’t need, rearrange the spices, dust under the TV. Whatever it might be, give your physical environment a visual boost. By the time you’re done, you’ll not only have cleaned house, you’ll have given your mood a boost, too.

5. Let it be. Sometimes the best way to funkbust is to just let it be. We don’t always need to fight the funk and there’s nothing wrong with sitting with whatever it is we’re feeling. Just remember that everything is temporary and even the worst of moods won’t stick around forever.

Do you have any funkbusting tips to add to the list? I’d love to know! Comment below!

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sweat

Tiny space, big moves: resistance bands workout.

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Being active is essential in living a feel good life. Movement, in and of itself, is proof that we are indeed alive. But far beyond six packs and bikinis, there is great reward in testing the limits of our own bodies. We learn where our comfort zone is… and we build the confidence to break out of it. 

As a barre instructor, I am fueled by the dedication to self my students showed day after day. Despite bitchy bosses, projects gone wrong and inboxes that never seem to hit zero, these women come in the studio with a fierce attitude, ready to show themselves who really is boss. They push, pull and fight against the urge to make excuses. I thought of them this morning as I was ready to say “I can’t workout today because it’s really too windy outside.” Um, what?

A more reasonable excuse would have been: I don’t have enough space. I live on a boat, after all, and there really is not a lot of space. I mean, talk about tiny living. AND the ground under me is constantly moving. Do you workout in an earthquake?! Yet, even I know that space isn’t much of an excuse….and people do entire workouts on Bosu balls…sooooo as my mother always says: where there’s a will, there’s a way.

And when I have it my way, I always opt for a lower body workout. Today’s tiny space workout went something like this:

1 resistance band, 5 moves, 30 reps, 3 rounds through…and a lot of booty burn.

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inspiration

Do something you love…everyday.

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It’s Tuesday.
I woke up in my bed with a steady flow of droplets of water landing on my forehead.
At 6am.
After 4 hours of sleep.
Because my whole home was literally clanking and shaking.
And this is supposed to be paradise?

As you know, I live on a sailboat. What you might not know is that mornings like this are (unfortunately) not so uncommon. Leaky windows, ocean swell, sleepless nights…some mornings work to put you in a foul mood. But boat or no boat, you know what I’m talking about. Those days that just don’t start off on the right foot. The thing that gets me through those mornings? Knowing that I am going to do something that I love before the day is over.

We spent the majority of our waking hours doing things we’d rather not be doing. Working, studying, running errands, sitting in traffic. Yeah, life has to-do lists and those things aren’t always fun. But life also has love-to-do lists…and those are maybe more important.

Make time, even a teeny tiny little bit of time, to do something, just one thing, you love every single day. Maybe it’s knitting, reading in bed, practicing photography or, in my case, going to the market (yes, I love, love, love shopping for food!). When most of your day is dedicated to getting s**t done for someone/something else, don’t you think you deserve a bit of time to enjoy the day for YOURSELF?

Today’s action item for a feel good life: next to your to-do list, make a love-to-do list with 7 things you love to do.

Note: This does not mean scrolling through Instagram or finding a dress online for that party. Think bigger and smaller. Think about what big, and little, things you love to do. And do them!

 

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