Yes, I’m talking about you.
You were born with a ferocious strength that you might’ve forgotten about along the way. Perhaps you spend your days trying to prove that to yourself. To find what you think you’ve lost. Or what maybe you think you never had. Well ladies, let me tell you, you have it. It’s inherent. You have the strength to do hard things, you do do hard things…but that doesn’t mean you have to.
Life has taught me that she can be tough. She throws enough curveballs, lemons and shade your way that you will surely get your fair share of opportunities to flex your strength. Don’t you worry about that. But there is a strength we often don’t acknowledge. The strength of shutting down, tuning out or, better yet, flat out deciding that you’re not going to deal with that today.
At the moment, this is the strength I’m leaning into. The ability to say to myself “that’s alright, your plate is full, you don’t need to touch that one right now.” If you’re reading this then you already know that I am a big fan of self-work, self-worth and personal growth. I have a built-in need to find the problem, address the problem and work on that shit until it’s gone (or evolves into the next phase of whatever it is meant to be). So the very idea of knowing that an issue exists and intentionally choosing to not address burns my soul to the most microscopic level. Eze will happily tell you about my need to “point and fix.” I will happily keep him away from this paragraph 😉 Call it a dedication to being “better” or a mark of perfectionism, I’m not sure, but doing the work is part of who I am…and it’s not always the right approach.
Sometimes the work needs to look a little different for it to have the biggest impact. The ability to identify what is taking up mental space and truthfully acknowledging how much you can actually work on (not handle) is a whole different strength. That is a hard thing. Understanding what you can actively engage with while making progress with…and being able to save the rest for another day (week, month, year) is big. It’s turning one thing down to give your full attention to another. It’s turning one thing down, temporarily, so that you can give it your all when you’re feeling more capable, determined and ready.
I’ve got some big stuff to process right now. Things that dictate how I want to be in this world, the way I want to raise my son and how I hope to create a space for him in this world that allows him to thrive. Big stuff, important stuff. But right now, my plate is full. I don’t have the time/space/energy to break that down…so I won’t. I’ll save it for next month when I know my plate will be a little lighter, days a little freer and my mind will have the space to do the work it needs to.
So if you’re looking for a little advice today, here is it: show yourself just how strong you are. Allow yourself to be surprised. Give yourself permission to say “no thanks, maybe later” and mean it. You don’t have to do it all…right now. If it’s important, you won’t forget about it. You just might need to wait until you’re ready to pile it on.