motivation – Cactus and the Wave

skipping ahead: moving past insecurity

January 25, 2021 No Comments

This is an old photo I would’ve never dared to post. Partly because my ass is hanging out and my mom would likely disapprove, but mostly because I would’ve analyzed every curve, edge and wedgie and decided that it wasn’t good enough.

Standing at the mirror five minutes ago, smushing my postpartum belly together and assessing the fact that the muscle has all but disappeared from my once almost flat abs, I now look at this photo with a completely different set of eyes. It’s funny how simple it all can be, growing. Once you kick out the hate, there is a lot more room to love.

Standing at the mirror five minutes ago, smushing my postpartum belly together, I looked at my own reflection with a different heart. I looked at the body in front of me…and then looked beyond it. Me, the person under the skin, is me. I know her, I know all about her. We’ve been through some shit. And she’s solid. She’s strong. And I like her. I respect her.

Looking in the mirror now, I try to jump as quickly as possible to that last part. I respect her.

In the process of becoming, I have learned that there is no final destination. There is merely evolution, a changing of place, a different manner of being, existing, of taking space. Our minds – and bodies – are a reflection of our movement through time, through life. Doubt and insecurity are things we conjure up along the way. We don’t start off with them (my son’s grinning face never shows shame when I’m wiping literal crap off his thick thighs), but at some point, we welcome them into our hearts and minds with open arms and then struggle to tell them to pack their bags and call Tyrone.

Now, it’s not easy. I know that. Insecurities are clever little things that know how to dig deep and occupy a lot of space. They get into the cracks and corners and make you believe things that are simply just not true. And what’s worse, though you already know this, is that they come from somewhere. Getting past them can be a life’s work but there are a few things that have helped me to skip ahead and move past my own self-doubt.

↠ Remembering that everything gets its 15 minutes of fame. But it doesn’t have to get more than that. Most of the insecurities that take up our time are really banal, petty things that we genuinely won’t care about in the future. Think about some of the things your younger self wasted time worry about. Maybe it was your arm hair? Your nerdy glasses? It is so liberating to recognize when you have moved past a thing. If you’re able to think objectively about where your negative thoughts are going, remind yourself this: you will get past it.

↠ Holding on to my truths. You already are good at a lot of things. You have already accomplished things you are proud of. I’m sure of it. No matter how big or small, identifying and holding onto those truths make building confidence easier. When I’m feeling down about myself, I force myself to say something nice (and true). Some days it takes a little longer for something to come to mind and that’s okay. But you can’t leave until your statement comes to mind. Sort of like the self-care version of sitting at the table until your veggies are all gone.

↠ Cultivate confidence. Get good at something. Or decent. Or just have enough fun that you totally don’t care if you’re good at it or not. And keep doing it. I’ve always been into fitness but I’ve never, ever been able to do a pull-up. During a postpartum-in-front-of-the-mirror-who-am-I pep talk, I decided that it was time to learn to do pull-ups. I got some resistance bands to help hold my weight and even with that, I can only do a couple. But you know what, I feel like a total badass just trying. Eventually, maybe, I’ll be able to do it on my own, but for now, I’m having fun and fun always feels good.

↠ My critic has a name. Yours should, too. Doubtful Diane. She’s a real biatch. She knows just how to knock me down. But now that my self-doubt is personified, I know when she’s coming around and I’m getting really good at knocking her down. Or at least outrunning her.

↠ Giving compliments…and accepting them. Woof, this is a hard one. How many times has someone said something nice to you and you’ve rejected their kindness? Probably a lot. I never really realized how often I did that until someone I loved stopped me and flat out asked me: “Why should I bother telling you how impressive/intelligent/attractive you are to me if you always just shrug me off?” My inside answer was that I didn’t believe those things to be true about myself, however, in time, as I changed my rebuttal with a “thank you” I allowed myself to feel the joy that someone else was trying to give me.

↠ You really, really can’t compare. Everyone says this and they say it because it’s true: you’ve got to stop comparing. I believe that there is a way to objectively measure your own successes against someone else’s in a positive way that helps you grow, however, that’s usually not what’s going on in your mind when you’re feeling self-doubt. Everyone shows up to the table with their own shit. Their own backstory, their own struggles, their own strengths. And even if you have some crossover, it really will never be the same because you inherently are different. Stay in your lane and cheer each other on.

Moving through life, becoming who I am and will be, I know that my doubts will change. The way I think will change. I will take up space in different ways. I will not always care about the things I do right now – I may care more or I might forget about them completely. But what I will do is always try to skip ahead, as fast as possible, to the part where I remember my golden truth: I respect her.

cultivate, inspiration

shift it sunday: break it down, build it bravely.

October 28, 2020 No Comments

What kind of life could I create if only I were braver?

Stealing a quiet moment to indulge in my (sixth) piece of chocolate and a new book while sitting in the warm October sun, I came across this question: What kind of life could I create if only I were braver? It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have spent all the days of my short life trying to practice bravery. I have tried to consciously choose to operate from a place of courage rather than fear (or possibly the fear of regret) so that one day I can look back and know that I gave my life my damn best shot. Yet, with this “new normal” we are living, the crisis of the pandemic has ignited too often a crisis within me. A self-doubt, a second guessing, an uncertainty of self that fosters a spiraling negative narrative to take up space where my bravery usually lives.

“Was it stupid to build a resort on a remote island?”

“Should I really have my baby in Spain instead of in California?”

“Was quitting my job all those years ago really the right thing to do?”

“Am I even being a good mom?”
“Maybe I’m not what I thought I was?”

I’m asking myself all sorts of questions. Questions that I know the answer to. Questions that really don’t have any place in my current life because to get to the place I am now, I already asked, analyzed and assessed every angle of those questions before ever even making the decision to do the thing in question.

Now, maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “well, I haven’t lived my life as bravely as I could.” And if that’s what you’re thinking, then I’m really glad you’re here reading this. Because it means that you’re right there, on the cusp, about to live bravely.

Living bravely does not mean living without fear. It doesn’t mean living without hesitation or reservation. It definitely does not mean living without doubt. What it does mean is knowing that there is a truer version of yourself to live, a truer experience to have and chasing after that with all that you’ve got. It means being afraid but doing the real “right” thing anyways, not the “right” thing someone else told you was right. It means dedicating yourself to following your heart, your head and that thing that makes you light up from the inside.

Living bravely does not mean that you have to have it all figured it. Rather, it means living despite not having it all figured out. It means trusting, that with attention and attentiveness towards learning the lessons put in front of you, that you will figure out what you need to. It means making the next right choice. Not all the choices at once, just the choice you need to make right now to get you one step closer to the direction you want to go.

I will warn you about something, though. A few things will happen when you choose to live bravely and they won’t always feel good

You will probably lose a few friends.
You will probably feel lonely at times.
You will probably hear opinions you didn’t ask for. Or if you did, you’ll hear opinions you don’t like/don’t vibe with your choice to be brave.
You will put your own values into question. Over and over again.
You will always know what if feels like to not live bravely once you start…and it won’t feel right.

When I was 17 and decided I wanted to move to France, my uncle sat me down and asked me to think clearly about the choice I was about to make. He told me that I would likely lose a lot to gain what mattered most to me. At 17, when I could’ve stubbornly replied, “yeah whatever,” I didn’t. I listened. And let his words soak in.

16 years later, as I am typing this out, I have to say that he was 100% right. As I have chased my dreams with all my might, I lost contact with relations that didn’t support or understand my values. I missed weddings and birthdays as my passions took me to the other side of the world. I have felt some serious FOMO. I have asked myself a thousand times over if I’m living in accordance with my values – and I have learned that values change as we change, and that is totally okay. Actually, it’s great. I have learned to be flexible with myself, how I pursue what ignites me, and inflexible about living with what truly doesn’t inspire me to live my best, biggest and most joyful life.

Shift It Sunday Challenge: Break It Down, Build It Bravely.

Ask yourself this question: what life could I have if I chose to live bravely? Insert anything in place of life – relationship, love, job, experience – to take the first step towards living your life more fully.

Try to imagine in vivid detail what it would look like to live exactly as you dream. What does it feel like? Smell like? What are you wearing? Where are you? What colors surround you? It’s your life/job/relationship/love so be specific about the details.

It’s your life. Your one, big, bad, complex, complicated, beautiful, life. Don’t waste it.
Get brave and do the damn thing.

cultivate, inspiration

Why you don’t do what you say you want to do…and how to find the motivation to do it

May 28, 2019 No Comments

Motivation is like a moving train, it comes and it goes. Sometimes so quickly you don’t have time to hop on board. Other times you’re chasing after it, sweat beads dripping through your cute silk shirt. And if you’re lucky, you’re settled comfortably in your window seat, cruising through, enjoying the scenery of the ride.

From this train analogy, you might deduce that motivation is all about timing. But it’s not. Not really. Sure, sometimes you’re in just the right mood, just the perfect mental state to be open and ready for the motivation train to pick you up. But usually, motivation is about what you’re doing, not what you’re waiting for. This revelation came to me while I was waiting at the station, looking around, wondering where the hell my motivation was. Quite literally waiting. Clock ticking. Days went by. Weeks. Then months. How many tears I cried waiting for it to come. How is this happening to me? I am so full of great ideas. There are so many things I want to do. I’m a go-getter damnit. Where the hell is my motivation to actually do what I say I want to do?! Why meeee?!?!

And then. One morning it hit me. Whatever I was (or wasn’t, truth be told) doing, clearly wasn’t working. Suddenly it became equally obvious that I just needed to do something differently. Actually (truth be told), I just needed to do something. Anything, really. Just to get me moving again.

Now, if you’ve ever been lost, you know that without some sort of indicator or landmark, you feel pretty helpless and confused taking a step in any direction. You really have no clue where you are so how do you know where to go? (If you’re thinking “I’d Google it”, try to imagine a time before the smart phone, smart ass.) But if you’re on vacation, having a walkabout with an ice cream in hand, getting lost is exactly what you want to do. You enjoy it. You take in new things, stop and look around, people watch, observe…and eventually you find yourself on the path to wherever you were meant to go.

That’s the same thing with motivation. If you’re waiting for it, swimming in the lack of it, you feel helpless and confused. But if you move and take action in any direction, you will quickly find clarity in what your next step should be. Once you know where you’re headed, you’ll be excited to get there and next thing you know, you’ve got yourself a first class ticket on the Motivation Express.

Setting my intention for this month, I had only one thing in mind: take action. As I’ve already explained, action ignites motivation. Motivation fuels inspiration. Inspiration ignites more action. You get the gist. So how did I go from my cemented, stuck-where-I-stood stationary panic to Motivated Mary in three weeks? Baby steps. But steps. Some things that worked for me:

1. Understanding my goals/wants/desires. I have about five billion different ideas rolling by like tumbleweeds in my head at any given moment. Most of them are things I want to do, achieve, or learn. This is a good thing, it keeps me feeling excited about life…until it becomes overwhelming. If this resonates with you, grab a pen and paper and write down every single one of your goals/wants/to-do list brain occupying space things. Every single one. Then immediately mark which ones are the most exciting to do and write down why. Digging into your why will help you understand your real motivation. You might learn that the thing you think you want doesn’t really matter that much to you at all. Or at the very least, that it’s not that important to you right now.
2. Giving myself one job. I am a 0-60, all or nothing kind of girl. Or I was. Until I burnt out. Now, I’m more of a I-really-better-want-this-and-be-so-absolutely-stoked-about-it-or-I-certainly-won’t-give-it-my-all kind of girl. Each week, I give myself one action item per goal that I can actually get done. Now before you start getting judgy, this isn’t a cop-out on hard work. It’s a simple and effective way to build momentum towards change – change being actually going after that goal. It also gives time to gather more clarity on which direction to make your next move. Plus, actually getting things done feels so much better than seeing another huge to-do list left undone. You’ll probably feel inspired to keep going. Just wait and see. No, don’t wait. Just do and see!
3. Draw the correlation. I’m a curious girl and I need to know my why. Understanding how that small step is going to impact your larger goal is mission critical. You need to truly find value in each part of the process to fuel the motivation to keep moving. Sometimes just wanting to do something isn’t enough. You might need to feel a little validation for your own effort for making a change and that’s all good. Praise yo’self.
4. Don’t focus on the effort. Speaking of effort, try not to think about it. Yes, we live in a meritocracy where we are told that if we work hard enough, if we roll up our sleeves and get down and dirty in our work, we will achieve our goals. Now, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but sometimes it’s the exact thing that stops you from climbing higher. When I look back at my achievements I’m most proud of, I certainly give a nod to the effort I put in to get my goal. Hell yeah, I worked hard. But in the moment it’s easy to be deterred from continuing the effort when you feel the weight of how hard it actually is. What do I mean? Well, let’s say you want to lose 50 pounds. Girl, that’s going to be hard. I mean, you’ll have to put in the work. But focusing on how hard it is/going to be is the quickest way to halt your progress. Instead, turn your focus on those crossed out action items, the things you did do and how awesome it feels to actually take steps towards where you want to be.

So what am I saying here? Do something. Something you want to do. Something that gets you one step closer to the places you are in your day dreams. It’s true that it might not be the right time for everything, but it’s the right time for something. And you’ve got time for something. Take it. It’s yours.

If you’re feeling gung-ho, sweet. I did my job! If you’re feeling gung-ho and now looking for the next step, reach out. I’ve got an exercise that will light the motivation fire right under that groovy booty of yours.

cultivate

it’s time to cultivate YOUR feel good life

December 21, 2018 2 Comments

I will never forget the exact moment I knew I was going to take a different life path. Walking into the barre studio, ready to teach a group of women pouring in from their long days at the office, I was in a funk. I had spent the afternoon drowning in some self-hate talk, having a “fat” day and a seriously bad hair day that no bun could fix. Just as I entered my class and saw these women there, motivated and ready for a serious booty kicking, my entire mood changed. No matter what day they had had, they showed up for themselves. They were there to do the work. And they were looking at me to show them how…and I couldn’t have felt better about doing exactly that.

I spent some time after that figuring out how I could spread my passion for a feel good life beyond the mirrored walls of my San Francisco studio and it was a few months later I found my answer. Sitting in the surf line up just before sunset on a little island in the Philippines, it hit me. Happiness lives everywhere. It is a portable thing you can pack and take anywhere. But sometimes a change of scenery helps you find out where you left it. And this little island was the perfect place.

So now, here I am. Typing these words from a little beach hut watching the surf, feeling really damn good…and I’d like to invite you join me. I found my feel good life and I’d like to help you find yours.

This October, join me and the lovely Andy from No Shoes No Worries for a week of wellness, self-love, sun and surf in paradise. Grab your bikini, put your game face on and come to Siargao Island and cultivate YOUR feel good life.

For more information and to grab your spot in paradise, click here.

sweat

sweat challenge: new year, new booty!

December 1, 2018 No Comments

I am a procrastinator. A royal, class A procrastinator. I justify my tendency for putting things off until later with the fact that I tend to work better under pressure. And though that might in part be true, I also must admit (to myself) that I often struggle to find the motivation to get a head start…unless it comes to exercise. That is one thing I will always prioritize. Without it, I am a grump…and that just doesn’t feel good.

With 2019 right around the corner (what happened to 2018 anyways?!), I thought it a good time to get a head start on my healthy resolutions. In the same way that wearing cute workout pants motivates you to go to the gym, having a nice butt encourages you to keep it that way! I have decided to start my 2019 off on a stronger, rounder, more powerful step and close out 2018 feeling great.

Are you with me?!

Starting TODAY, you (or at least I) will enter the new year with a new booty.

The challenge: Each day of December, I will post a squat variation from the calendar above on Instagram. Starting with 100 reps, we will add one rep each day of the month (ie: December 25th, you will do 125 reps). Break up the reps as you need to – completing them all in one go, taking rests or even doing half in the morning and half at night. Up to you, just get ’em done!

Share your post-squat selfie on Instagram stories and tag me, @cactusandthewave, and I will enter you in a drawing to win some of my favorite feel life goodies including Vital Proteins collagen peptides, Schmidt’s Natural Deodorant and Rx Protein Bars!

cultivate

goals vs intentions: why i set intentions…and why you should, too

November 3, 2018 No Comments

If you spend any time at all scrolling through Instagram, you’re bound to stumble upon a motivational quote or two. Chances are it will be about new opportunities, chasing dreams, achieving goals…unless you’re one of those people that only looks up dog memes and dad jokes…#nojudgementzone…well, maybe a little ; ). I, personally, am a sucker for Insta-inspiration. Little doses of wisdom that keep me going throughout the day. But what’s even better than taking in someone else’s hard-earned lessons? Earning your own.

With change, comes challenge. With struggle, comes growth. These, my friends, are facts of life. Facts I’ve picked up along the way as I carve the path to my own feel good life. And along my path, I’ve realized that there is something big to know about in achieving a feel good life, and that is that goals are not the same things as intentions…and differentiating them is a big help in achieving success in both.

Goals vs. Intentions
When we think of goals, we tend to think of them as something in the future, something we need to work towards but haven’t attained yet. Goals are the big objectives that drive us through hard times, shitty days and boring adult to-do lists we’d rather ignore but can’t if we really want to achieve said goal. Goal-setting is important. It helps us identify what we want and provides the framework for getting what we want. However, as it projects us into our future selves, it takes us out of enjoying our present selves…and creates a pressure to achieve our objectives immediately. That pressure is often overwhelming, distracting and quite frankly, sets us back from achieving any forward motion at all. It removes the “the adventure is in the journey” part of goal-getting and takes away the fun in progress.

Intentions on the other hand are exactly that: something we intend to do. We are not so deeply attached to the outcome of our intentions. We acknowledge by their very name that they are efforts, things we are trying to do. This subtle difference plays a powerful impact on how we interact with these objectives. Intention-setting removes some of the stress around failure and puts us more into the present moment of our lives. If the goal is to lose 20 pounds, it’s safe to say that change won’t happen overnight. But setting a micro-goal, an intention, to start the day off with a healthy breakfast…that most certainly can happen immediately.

Intentions are the micro-goals that put us on track to achieving our big goals. They are an opportunity to make immediate and impactful change in the current version of ourselves. Who doesn’t love a little instant gratification?!

Intention-setting
Each month, I make a short list of things I intend to do or change.* I reflect on what went well the month before, what didn’t, and what small things I can do moving forward to make me feel better in the three aspects of my feel good life. Throughout the month, I check-in with myself to see how I am doing and make an honest assessment of my efforts in achieving my intentions. If they’re not being met, maybe I need to rethink my approach. If they are, awesome. High five to me. I’m one step closer to the big goal.

I also love to make a daily intention during my morning meditation or workout to set the tone for my day. It can be something as simple as “drink a glass of water every hour” or something slightly more difficult like “reframe challenges as a positive opportunities“. I notice that the days I set intentions, I am generally more optimistic, more empowered and more motivated to tackle whatever the day has to throw at me!

For me, intention-setting is critical to the cultivation of a FEEL GOOD life. It empowers me to be an active player in my own life by (gently) forcing me to take the reigns of what I personally can control.

Do you set intentions? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? If not, I dare you to give it a try! Just a month…and see how good it feels to get your glow!

*About the “short” part: intentions work best when they require minimal effort. This does not mean that you can be lazy and make change – because you can’t. It means that being realistic about your objectives makes it easier to obtain them. Maybe you only have one intention per month. That is totally okay. Only you know what you can truly take on. That’s something to respect, not criticize!

cultivate, nourish, sweat

A morning routine worth waking up for

September 24, 2018 No Comments

Confession: I am not a morning person. Let me emphasize this. I am really not a morning person. Growing up both my parents worked in the nightlife business, my great-grandmother stayed up until the early hours of the morning chatting away with our family in the Philippines…our lives came alive at night. But then I got older, moved away to a tropical island and adopted hobbies that are made for the morning hours. What’s a night owl to do when the waves call your name at 6am?! Make the morning exciting.

If you find yourself in my shoes or simply just hate getting out of bed, here’s my morning routine worth waking up for.

Wake up call. My alarm is a groovy jam that sets the tone for my day. I make sure to pick something that won’t drive my boyfriend insane (which is mega important for keeping cranky moods at bay so early in the day!). I am also a serial “snoozer” but I’ve noticed that if I’m listening to a song I enjoy, I’m less likely to hit snooze and actually get out of bed.
Take a mindful moment. Before I climb out of bed, I try to complete a 5-10 minute meditation to set my intentions for the day. I love the app Insight Timer – they have thousands of meditations to choose from by length or theme. I tend to opt for a meditation on positivity, motivation or confidence to get me amped up for my day.
Hydrate. I head straight to the kitchen and prepare a hot lemon infusion with one whole lemon, apple cider vinegar, ginger, honey and a dash of cayenne pepper. I sip on this as I continue to get out of the door. Prep your infusion the night before to save a few minutes!
Quick clean up. I can’t start my day without brushing my teeth and washing my face. It just doesn’t work. Next, I apply a light face oil mixture of vitamin E, argan and rosehip that helps my face retain moisture during my workout. I also toss in a few calf raises while I’m brushing my teeth to get my booty moving! The bathroom session finishes with a quick dry brush – often to a groovy morning jams – to get my blood flowing and my body energized before I step out the door.
Sweat! If I’m not off to teach a class, I’ll head to the gym or do my own workout in the living room or on the beach. If I’m short on time, I opt for my high intensity 15 minute jump rope and resistance band routine. If you’re looking for workout ideas, I share my morning workouts on Instagram stories.
Nourish. I head back into the kitchen to chow down on a protein-packed breakfast. My go-to is a fruit and veggie filled smoothie bowl with collagen peptides from Vital Proteins and Superfoods from The Healthy Grocery or a breakfast salad full of fresh greens and a oil-free “fried” eggs.
Cultivate. While eating breakfast I go over my to-do list or listen to an inspiring podcast that gives me new ideas and a wave of fresh thoughts to start my day!
Clean up, round two. MC Shower Time aka a three minute shower hustle to scrub down with my skin stimulating coffee scrub, wash my hair and get glowing out the door. Not going to lie, sometimes I end up in my workout clothes until noon if I work from home…#noshameinthesweatgame.

My morning routine takes about 60-90 minutes (including my workout) depending on what time I need to get out of the door. If you’re reading this and thinking “who has an hour to spare!?” think again. You can make the time…and once you do, you’ll have a hard time giving it up.

Each person is different and our morning needs are different. Here are a few tips on creating your own morning routine:

Prep. A stress-free (or stress-less) morning routine starts the night before. Pack your lunch. Lay out your workout clothes. Write your to-do list. Leave the coffee pot out. Do whatever you can the night before to leave yourself more time in the morning for YOU.

Make it realistic. Some days (ie: Monday-Friday) there just isn’t enough time for all the self care you’d like to get your day glowing. Minimize stress and save the extra love for the weekend. A morning routine weekend edition post is just around the corner : )

Follow the #feelgoodlife formula: cultivate, nourish, sweat. Make a list of the things that energize you, that put you in a good mood and ignite your motivation. Pick the ones that are either the least time consuming or the most important and make them the foundation of your morning routine (#cultivate).
Eat a nutritious and protein-packed breakfast that will give you the energy to give the day your all (#nourish).
Move! Make time for a quick workout. And when I say quick, I mean it. If you don’t have an hour for the gym, no worries. Take five minutes to stretch, plank or even do calf raises while brushing your teeth. The latter is my go-go. Seriously.

If you’ve got a morning routine you love, I’d love to hear it! Share in the comments below!

inspiration, journal

Being present: put tomorrow on the back burner.

November 30, 2017 2 Comments

I am 30, going on 31, unmarried, without kids, traveling around the world with my entire life stuffed in a backpack that’s half my size. I don’t have a permanent address and my passport is my most valuable possession.

What the f*** am I doing with my life?

This is the broken record that likes to play sometimes in my head. Sometimes…frequently. It’s the voice of generations before me, the people that care about me. It’s the foot-stomping temper tantrum between what is expected and what I feel called to do. It’s the battle between my head and my heart.

Simple questions like “where do you live?” or “what’s next?” can send me straight to the turntable. The record is ready and waiting to play.

So how do I turn it off? How do I block out the noise? And should I?

While it’s easier said than done, the answer to that last question is yes. What is the point of worrying about a future that won’t exist without today? Why should we allow ourselves to get anxious over a life we haven’t lived yet when we could live the life we have right now?

The first two questions are a little harder to answer. But I’m working on it. I have added a few habits into the fold to make the present a more attractive place to be. So far, I think they’re working…

Smile. When shit starts getting tough or you start feeling frustration swell up, try to touch your left cheek to your left ear. Then the right cheek to the right ear. You’ll find that your forced smiles quickly becomes genuine. My grandmother always smiled. No matter what. She said that it takes 26 muscles to frown and only 8 to smile. “Smilin’ is easier, darlin’, so take it easy.”
Find gratitude. Before going to bed, write down three things you’re grateful for. Don’t just think them. Write them down. Take the time to reflect on it and make them meaningful. You can spare five extra minutes. Honestly, some days this might feel harder than others, but getting in the practice of articulating what we appreciate does wonders on how we approach what life puts in our path.
Sweat. Exercising requires your full and immediate attention. You can’t have your head somewhere else when you’re trying not to fall off a steep running trail or lifting weights over your head. Give yourself this break from not thinking so you can focus on what you’re doing. Plus, no one ever regrets a workout.
Put your phone down. This is probably the hardest one (and the most shameful to admit). The other night I went to dinner and I looked around to find that nearly everyone was either playing on their phone or had their eyes glued to the TV screen behind the bar. It made me sad. What was the point of even being there when we could all ignore each other from the comforts of our own home? Limit the distraction, put the screens away and engage with the people around you. Give them attention. Get their attention. Everyone wins when we connect #IRL.
Find the magic. Something good happens every single day. Beauty manifests in some way every single day. You just might miss if it you’re not paying attention. Open up to it. Change the perspective. Find some magic in the mundane. In doing so, you’ll be practicing a few of these habits…multi-tasking for the win!

What is life for if not to enjoy it? There is no tomorrow without today. Focus on today. Give today everything you’ve got.

inspiration

Do the crazy thing.

November 12, 2017 1 Comment

If I there is a sentence I’ve heard more than any other in my life it would be: “You are totally crazy.” I used to think crazy was a bad thing. As it turns out, crazy is a courage thing.

After leaving university, and still sometimes now, I found myself battling against the stress of the unknown. School provided a safe and reliable way of measuring success, of measuring progress. Success had a formula to follow. In many ways, this programmed me to build a life that followed suit. If you stay on this track, you’ll get this job, make this money, get this car…you get the gist. It’s not really so abnormal, “everyone” is doing it. It’s not so crazy. What does seem to be crazy, to most people at least, is to stray off that track. To define success in a different way and to measure it according to new standards. To me, this doesn’t sound crazy at all. It sounds like courage.

We have countless opportunities to define the rules of the game. The game, after all, is yours and yours alone. It’s yours to play and it’s yours to live. Whether big steps off the track or small, these steps are your own and little by little, they will create a clear path to your success. Maybe this means getting the haircut you’ve been thinking of but were to scared to try. Perhaps it’s applying for that job you feel unqualified for. It could be buying that promo plane ticket, or even falling in love when you least expect it.

Take the step. Do the crazy thing. Have the courage to define your own success….and then look back to see how far you’ve come.

inspiration, journal

Knowing when to quit.

October 27, 2017 4 Comments

I am my biggest enemy. I’m guessing you might be yours, too? Since I can remember, I’ve always been competitive. I have always pushed myself to be the best I can be at whatever I’m doing. Dancer, student, ice cream sandwich maker…you name it. Some people miiiight call it perfectionism. I just always assumed perfect was the only right way.

I’m happy to announce I was wrong.

I’ve got a lot to say about giving your all, but that will come later. This post is about knowing when it’s okay to quit.

The ugly truth is, lots of things we do are hard. Lots of things we do are things we don’t actually want to be doing but we have to. But then, there are those things we do simply for pleasure…and those things don’t have to be so hard.

I have always wanted to surf. Watching surfers play in the waves, I always likened surfing to dancing on water. Last year, I took a hiatus from the boat to finally take the plunge and dive into surfing. I spent two months in Indonesia learning how to navigate my way around a wave in a completely different way. Along the way, a dear friend, knowing my perfectionist nature, gave me advice that has actually changed my life. “Gina, the second you start getting frustrated, get out of the water. Your only goal in surfing is to have fun. When you’re not, get out. Stop before you stop loving it.”

Simple, but true. It’s against my nature. All my life, I’ve followed the same pattern. Go hard or go home, sort of thing. If I failed, I got up again and again and again, pushing myself to my limits until I “got it.” I used to practically live in the library in college. Pillow and all. I just wanted to be the best, I just wanted to “get it.” Well, the end result was a beat-up, exhausted, ironically less confident and less happy version of myself. Yeah, I finally got it. But it didn’t FEEL GOOD getting there.

Have you been in my shoes? Aching for perfection until it actually kind of hurts? Do yourself a favor and take this advice: stop before you stop having fun. In whatever your thing is. Just enjoy the ride!

I’m far from being the surfer I dream of being. I get my ass handed to me regularly. But I love it. I smile until my face hurts. Sometimes I stay in the water for hours, sometimes I bail after 10 minutes. If I’m frustrated, I get out. I stop before it stops feeling good, because, after all, the only reason I’m doing it is to have fun. If it’s not fun, what’s the point?

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